It’s taken me 15 months to write this post. If you’ve learnt anything about me , you’ll know that I often pen my thoughts almost immediately. I like to write while the emotions are raw and tangible.
So, why has it taken so long for me to write this post you ask ?
I’m not sure … I’ve tried to write it many times. Each time I start I read it back and something sounds wrong.
Today I’m ready .
I’m ready to share my story of a birth that went wrong.
A little background info
As the mom of 6 before bear, I was quite seasoned in the child birth department . There really wasn’t much I haven’t experienced.
Needless to say ..when it comes to labour I’m quite fussy and know my body well enough to take the lead and do what comes naturally.
6 natural births with the longest labour being my first of 5 hours and the shortest being my youngest at 20 minutes ,I knew bear was popping out real quick once active labour began.
Call me spoilt but I’ve only experienced contractions once. For the most part my births have been 20 minutes to half an hour of active labour where the pain is in my thighs and lower back.
So I did not expect anything different with bear.
Towards the end of my pregnancy I started to have slight complications with bear and after 2 weeks of bed rest and a few weeks of stressing I was fully prepared when my gynea suggested an induction at 38 weeks.
Super eager to meet my bear and even more eager to end this pregnancy now . ( we all get to those dreaded last weeks where you waddling and resembling a beached whale)
Hospitals and Mahan
A date was set , Facebook updated and I fully expected with an induction starting at 7am to have delivered my beautiful baby boy by 10am latest.
We got to the hospital and were ushered into a cold clinical room. In all my deliveries I’ve never felt so isolated.( I’ve had 5 of my bears at a government hospital and Kiki at a private hospital.) But this was too somber. Not that it mattered as is only be here a few hours.
I undressed and papa made himself comfortable as we waited for the nurse to administer the drug for induction.
I remember declining the enema, as i had never been given one before birth of any of my bears, and I remember the nurse making a large deal about it.
Just after 8am they finally induced me and it wasn’t till almost 11am that I saw my gynea.
And now what ?
Up until this point …. nothing.
Here i was expecting to be holding my baby and I wasn’t even feeling a twinge.
Papa was working from the chair and I spent most of that morning uncomfortably trying to walk up and down the 3 flights of steps to get a little contraction action started.
By lunch time I was starving, people wanted to know what was happening and aside from the occasional nurse poping in to prod and poke at me my gynea was MIA.
Drips and more
At about 2pm a nurse finaly came and broke my waters. Excitedly I waited for contractions , eager to meet my little boy.
As each half hour passed I started to get more and more anxious. Why wasn’t it working. I’d had an induction before and Sbear was born in less than an hour. Every part of me was screaming that something was wrong.
I started to worry about bears heart rate. What was the consequence of him still in my womb after the waters had been broken so long and where in all of baby’s nappies was my gynea?
A nurse appeared just after 3pm and hooked me up to a fetal monitor. Now I couldn’t move. I was stuck on my bed….waiting. the whole time I was crying, small sobs of worry and frustration. My mind convincing me I was not going to deliver a living baby.
And then ..
Around 7pm the mysterious gynea appeared with a solution .
He attached a now hysterical, crying me to a drip to get the contractions to move faster. I still do not understand why this was not done sooner.
The next few hours were consumed with an occasional nurse proding, a non existent gynea and me attached to a fetal monitor and drip sobbing my heart out.
Unable to move, freaking out with the drip in my arm (I’m petrified of needles), tired, cranky with no food or coffee, I wanted to just go home.
Just before 12am I started to feel slight contractions-16 hours since I set foot in the hospital. At 12.15am I had the nurse reluctantly after I kicked up a fuss remove the drip. I needed to move. Being restricted was emotionally draining and I needed to get myself together for birth.
At 12.40am I felt my familiar leg cramps and had papa find a midwife. I remember neededing to push thinking that papa was about to deliver bear and praying that with his waters breaking early,a disinterested gynea, the long traumatic labour and drugs from the induction he would be ok.
We were hardly in the delivery room and a perfect bear was delivered at 12.40 am on 22 September 2017.
I don’t understand why it took my gynea so long or where he was. All I know is that it was the most isolated ,uncomfortable birth I’ve ever experienced.
Mom’s if I can offer any advise from this experience it would be this …
- Trust your body, it knows what to do naturally.
- Insist in writing a birth plan.
- Hire a doula or enlist someone to be your voice. Often in labour youre exhausted, and dont have the energy to insist on certain treatment.
- Get references on moms that have used your gynea for birth.