Choose the children first always

And finally the day has arrived …  6 weeks ago after Bear got incredibly sick I realised my first priority was to him. After 2 weeks of me hardly being at work , I knew how unreliable this made me.

Honestly, if I’d worked in an office I may have tried to exhaust my leave , but as a preschool teacher my toddlers require my time , attention and ability to be in their life on a stable daily basis.

So does Bear. He not only requires but deserves to have my time ,attention and the knowledge that if he needs me I am there.
After discussing with Papa bear I resigned.

It’s been a long 6 weeks of bear being sick and me haphazardly attending class in between. 

Tossing between mommy guilt and classroom obligations dont do much for the heart strings either.

So it was with a bitter sweet joy I started my day. I vowed I wouldn’t cry. I threw myself into new renditions of old favourite nursery rhymes and dedicated myself to building that one last lego tower with this group of children whom I’ve spent many hours getting to know over the last few months.

Each one received a little note tucked into their bags onto which I wrote

It’s bean great to be your teacher!

I taped a small bath bean to each note so that tonight in the bath each one of my special kiddos will receive an animal sponge.

I wrote my thank you’s to management and fellow staff on our Face book group, Thanking them for a year of service and wonderful memories with my classes. . And I choked back the sobs as parents reminded me it was my last day.

Whilst I didn’t expect anything, I also thought management may wish me well and say goodbye .

I’m shocked to see that even though I was courteous enough to give 6 weeks notice for them to find new staff , that I loyally worked for them and took time to thank them , not one person from management said a good bye. 
My guilt left very quickly as I hobbled my way through the Autum drizzle with my beautiful roses from a pupil. I said my goodbyes to those whom I’ve been very fortunate to come to know and worked with and as I looked towards my classroom the soft words of reminder echoed through my mind ….

If ever you must choose, choose the children first always.  

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One thought on “Choose the children first always

  1. I can totally understand this. The guilt you feel when your kids are sick at home with a family member and you are at school giving your precious time (which should be with your sick child) to the children in your class. It’s such a delicate balance and at times some of us are forced to make the difficult choice between doing what we love and being there for our precious children. Our children should always come first, ourselves second and our jobs last. At the end of the day you are replaceable at work but our children have only one mom. We should not be burning ourselves out, and being guilt ridden when we can be replaced by the drop of a hat. Choose your children first.

    Liked by 1 person

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